The Chip
by WeomMeow101
Summary: When Karen and Plankton decide to have kids, they realize that making babies is a cinch compared to having them. Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN SpongeBob Squarepants or any of its characters. (My OC is Katherine.)
1. Chapter 1 - Chip

Chapter 1: The Chip

 _(Note: Just to be clear, Karen's monitor is her head, her wheels are her feet, and her personal part is a few inches above her wheels. So, like, the lower center of her grey body.)_

It was another afternoon at the Chum Bucket. A Friday like any Friday. Yet again, Plankton failed his attempts to steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula.

Sheldon J. Plankton flew through the door and fell smack in the center of the Chum Bucket. He pealed himself from the cold, metal floor.

"Oh, Karen," he moaned with anger. "Another day, another fail! These schemes are hopeless, and you and I both know it..."

Karen rolled over to Plankton on her wheels. She bent over to pick him up. "Well, not everything is hopeless..." She smirked.

"Why are you grinning like that, Karen?" asked the little green cyclops. "Maybe our plans aren't hopeless, but I don't expect to have that secret formula any time soon..."

Karen rolled her green eyes. "No, Sheldon. I mean... something else." She set down Plankton, and turned her back with embarrassment. "I'm not sure if you know what I mean."

"Look, Karen, if it's about the secret formula then I'll understand. No time for riddles. Just spill the beans!" he snapped.

Karen rolled over to a silver table in a corner of the Chum Bucket. After she dusted the seats and the table was rid of webs, she motioned for Plankton to come sit by her.

"What is it?" Plankton asked after he had been seated. He noticed Karen blush and look away.

"Sheldon... it's not about the formula," she said nervously, part afraid that Plankton wouldn't care, and part embarrassed about what he would think.

"So... What is it about, then, Computer W.I.F.E?" he asked with interest. "Is about me not spending enough time with you, or the fact that SpongBob keeps inviting us to parties?"

"Neither... I was wondering if," green blush spread over her monitor, "you had ever wanted kids."

Plankton sat wide eyed. He placed his elbows on the table and looked into the flushed face of his wife. "I... I have..."

A long pause took place between the conversation. The two stared into space, until a loud beep broke the silence.

 _Beeeeeep!_

"What the barnacle was that?" asked Plankton, startled by the noise.

Karen still looked away. She felt her monitor heat up. She couldn't bare to let Plankton hear the next notification she got.

But then it happened...

 _You have one answer to your question on ComputerClub: "If I'm a computer, how can I make love?"_

Karen exploded with embarrassment. She poured green sweat and began to feel light headed. Plankton struggled to catch her when she fell.

"Clamn, you are heavy," he stressed. He set down his wife on the cold metal floor. Karen was crying tears of embarrassment.

"I- I don't know what you thought of that... question," Karen cried, "but that's what I wanted to do... Have kids..."

Plankton sat down on his bare, green butt. His antenna lowered as he thought to himself. He hummed to the rhythm of his wife's crying. 'Should we? I don't even know how to 'do it' with a computer. How's that possible? Plus, how do I deliver a computer baby. Also, that would totally ruin my evil schemes. But, if it makes our relationship complete, then I guess it's all worth it.'

Plankton wiped his stubby hand across Karen's monitor. "Honey?" he asked. "Yeah, Sheldon?" his wife sniffled. Plankton took a quick pause to discard all regrets. "...Let's do it!"

Karen immediately sat up. "Really?!" Her monitor instantly grew wind wipers and wiped away her green tears.

Plankton nods as his face turns red. "What was the reply from 'ComputerClub'?"

"Let's see." Karen checked the notification on her app. "It says you need a little chip to... put in me." Again she blushed green.

Plankton smirked. He sat down a chair and posed in a sexy way. "I have a little 'chip'..."

Karen steamed. "That's not what I meant! In order for me to become pregnant, we have do it digitally." She twiddled her robot thumbs. "Could you build me a chip?"

"Sure thing. I just need to go get some tools. But first I'll need the directions on how to build one."

Karen displayed a blueprint on her monitor, and Plankton, being the smart guy he was, remembered the parts exactly.

 _Two hours later..._

Karen knocked on the door to Plankton's lab. "Sheldon?" she asked nervously. "Are you done?"

The little green cyclops came out of the room wearing a metal mask and carrying a large chip compared to his size. "How do you like it? It's the perfect fit."

"How do you know 'it's the perfect fit', Little Man?" asked Karen with seriousness in her voice.

Plankton stared at the floor. "Never mind that." He looked back up at her. "Are you ready now or do you prefer a romantic setting?"

Karen blushed. "I'm fine with just us and the bedroom. Bring the chip." She rolled into the makeshift bedroom that Plankton slept in. Plankton stumbled behind her, chip in hands.

 _Meanwhile..._

SpongeBob was sent to spy around the Chum Bucket. Mr. Krabs had heard some commotion and he was determined to put a stop to any future schemes.

"Alright," SpongeBob whispered to himself, "it's time to learn Plankton's plans." He stopped. "What about 'Plan'ton? Dahahahahaha!"

He peered into the laboratory window as he stood on top of a cheap, wooden ladder Mr. Krabs had lent him. "Empty?" SpongeBob was puzzled. "But Plankton's always in this room. If I return to the Krusty Krab without any info, two dollars will be taken off of my paycheck!" But then he heard something.

SpongeBob pressed his ear hole up against the glass. "It's coming from another room." He could hear some talking. "Sounds like Karen and Plankton. Maybe they're cooking up schemes."

"Oooh... that's good," said the familiar, robotic voice.

'What's good?' SpongeBob asked himself. 'Maybe they have a plan and it must be a good one if Karen thinks so.' Although SpongeBob could hear the couple, he could not see them nor the room they were in.

"Do you want me to put it back in?" asked Plankton to his Computer W.I.F.E.

SpongeBob still did not know what was going on, so he picked up his latter and walked around the Chum Bucket to another window. This window was open.

"Oh, Kare-Kare, this is the best time I've ever had with you... Ever!" Karen blushed at Plankton's comment.

SpongeBob slowly peaked through the window and gasped. "What the barnacle?" SpongeBob cursed. "Are they?..."

The sight was quite a shock to SpongeBob. Plankton was sliding a computer chip into an opening on the lower half of Karen. And it appeared that they took pleasure in it.

"I don't understand," he whispered to himself. "Are they doing 'that thing' Squidward didn't really want to explain to me? Are they... making babies?"

Plankton kissed Karen's monitor. "This is diabolic!" he said sarcastically as Karen giggled.

SpongeBob tapped the side of his forehead. "What kind of plan is this?" And SpongeBob returned to the Krusty Krab with some unexpected news.

"...And then they kissed. And he took that thing out of her, and then-" "Stop!" Squidward cried, his face red from hearing the story full of lovey dovey things. "You know what they were doing SpongeBob," Squidward whispered to him.

Mr. Krabs had been listening from his office. He came out with a grin on his face. "Ek ek ek ek ek!" he laughed heartily. "SpongeBob, me boy'o, they would be..." And he whispered the word.

SpongeBob turned red in the face. "I guess I'll leave to their own devices. Get it? 'Devices?' The computer chip? Get it? Dahahahahahahahahaha!"

Squidward covered his ears with his tentacles in disgust.

 _Back at the Chum Bucket..._

Plankton walked down to Karen's lower half and slowly pulled out the oil-covered chip. He shuttered with disgust, but smiled at his wife politely.

"That was great!" Karen exclaimed. She sat up straight. Plankton noticed a dial on her head that was turned up high.

"Is that your vacation setting?" Plankton asked with worry. "No," Karen replied. "It's my sexy setting!"


	2. Chapter 2 - Delivery

_Chapter 2: Do You Want Free Shipping With Your Delivery?_

 _Many months later..._

Karen lied on a bed in the laboratory of the Chum Bucket. She was moaning and groaning. Tears of pain formed in her eyes and she was taking in breaths of air.

"Aaaaagh!" she screamed. She was pregnant, but not yet giving birth. Her metal stomach was bulging, and the baby moved inside.

Plankton who was by her side offered her some water. "Boy, if I would've known doing that thing would put you in so much pain, I wouldn't have." He cringed at the sight of Karen's red face.

"Do- you- even... know how- to deliver," she gasped for breath, "babies?" Karen's wind wipers appeared and she wiped away her sweat.

"Not really, Computer W.I.F.E," said Plankton as he inspected her lower half. Just as he was about to touch something he shouldn't, Karen slapped him.

"Excuse.. me! But you don't touch that spot!" Karen snapped.

"But I touched that spot and put the chip in it plenty of times months ago. So did the doctor last week. What's the big problem?"

"You're so polite!" Karen began to cry tears of sadness. "Why did I ever doubt you?"

"Huh? Is your vacation setting up again?!" he paused. "Oh, yeah... Mood swings..." Plankton remembered. Then he scratched his head.

Karen looked at him with a crazed face. "The baby's coming!" she hollered through the speakers she had access to.

Plankton jumped up in shock. He put on his gloves and ran down to Karen's lower half. Nothing. "Why did you give me a false alarm?" he asked furiously.

Karen snapped. "Oh, Little Man, I thought it was! What do ya' gotta..." She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Plankton rolled his eyes. 'How many more days of this?' he thought. He was beginning to feel stressed out. He nudged Karen awake.

"Huh, Sheldon? What is it?" she asked drowsily. She turned her head to face him, her red, baggy, digital eyes looked into her husband's.

"Won't it be hard for you to give birth? I mean, how young are you?"

"Young enough."

All of a sudden, Karen screeched in tremendous pain. "It really is coming this time, Plankton! Get ready to help! You have to remain calm!"

"Okay," Plankton said with worry, his heart pounding out of his chest. "I need you to get on your hands and knees. Or, in your case, hands and wheels. I'll help you off the bed." He struggled to help her to the floor.

Karen was on the floor in the position that she was told to be in. An metal opening in her lower half was visible, and she began pushing. "Aaaaagh!" she screeched. The cry echoed throughout the area, and it could be heard over at the Krusty Krab.

 _At the Krusty Krab..._

"Yep. That's the sound of childbirth alright," Squidward mumbled. "The only thing worse than my job..."

Mr. Krabs leaned on the cashier boat. "Ek ek ek ek ek! Yep, it is, Mr. Squidward!"

SpongeBob bounded out of the kitchen. "I heard a scream! Is everyone okay?" he asked his boss.

Mr. Krabs and Squidward whispered to eachother. "Will he understand?" asked Mr. Krabs. "I dunno," Squidward replied. "I mean, I explained how babies are made, but not how..."

"...It's just a customer enjoying his Krabby Patty, that's all," Mr. Krabs lied.

"Oh, boy!" SpongeBob cried. "That's great, Boss! I'll get back to work, right away!"

 _Back at the Chum Bucket..._

Plankton placed a towel beneath Karen. Oil dripped from her lower half and the absorbent cloth soaked it up.

"Just push when the time is right, Karen," Plankton encouraged. "Go with the flow."

His Computer W.I.F.E smiled at him despite her pain and embarrassment. She continued pushing.

"Aaaagh! Grrrrr!" she moaned. The pain was unbearable, but it would all be worth it in the end.

 _Four hours later..._

Plankton instantly washed his hands when he saw the head of the baby computer, a calculator, peek out of his wife. He softly guided the baby downward. Being so small, the oil dripped onto his antenna, tickling and disgusting him.

Karen screamed. "It's- al..most- out!"

Plankton gagged at the oily baby sliding out of Karen's lower half. He had forgotten to put on his gloves after washing his hands, and the goop was all over him.

Karen pushed a few more big pushes and groaned loudly. Plankton's eye twinkled when the heavy, oily calculator finally slid into his stubby hands and squashed him.

His Computer W.I.F.E let out a final moan. "Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!" She took quick breaths, and rolled onto her back, closing the metal opening in her lower half.

Plankton took towels, cloths, and wipes and cleansed the baby computer. He cut it's umbilical cord, which was a literal cord with a plug. Then he set the calculator on Karen's chest. After tossing the oily towel, Plankton washed to rid himself of the goop and oil that was covering him.

"Planky Poo?" Karen called him weakly. Plankton instantly came to her side, dripping with soap and water. "Yes, Dear?" he asked, drying himself with a fresh towel. "Thankyou," she told him. Then she stopped.

"Now... Plankton, the... placenta... will... come out... soon..."

Plankton cocked his head like a dog. "What's the-" But before he could speak, something floppy and rubbery, dripping with oil, came out of the exact spot the baby did. But because there were no towels underneath, it meant more mess for Plankton to clean up.

"Aw, clamn it!" he hollered.

 _Next and Last Chapter: Plankton and his Computer C.H.I.L.D!_


	3. Chapter 3 - BABY

_Chapter 3: Plankton and His Computer B.A.B.Y!_

 _One month later..._

Plankton met Karen and her baby on the beach of Goo Lagoon. A red blanket was set on the sand, and the calculator was inching through the rocks.

"How's Katherine?" Plankton asked as he snapped a goggle over his eye. "Is she enjoying the lagoon?"

"Yeah. Kathy's fine. All she's really doing is sitting here," Karen replied with a slightly disappointed look. "Do you think she would like some milk?"

"She looks thirsty. Nurse her." It was kind of awkward to see his wife nursing a child. Wasn't Karen pretty old? How did she successfully give birth? It was all mind boggling for Plankton.

Karen held up the calculator to her chest. A small trickle of white ink was sipped by the baby. Many fish watching thought it quite awkward to see a mother breastfeeding on the beach.

Everyone began showing their disapproval.

"Bring a bottle, Lady!"

"Cover yourself!"

"You're embarrassing the women!"

"Eww, Mommy, what's she doing?!"

Karen blushed and set down her baby. "Plankton!" she urged him to fight back.

"Listen up!" Plankton shouted. "Leave my wife alone, barnacle brains, or face my wrath!" He spoke with such anger that every fish around him inched back.

Karen continued to nurse her baby.

 _Later that day..._

"Plankton!" Karen shouted. "It's your turn to change Kathy's diaper!" The little calculator had wet her cloths.

Plankton groaned deeply. "Aw, seriously!" He slowly trudged into the laboratory and pulled out a fresh set of cloths.

The baby calculator was resting on the same bed that it had been born next to. It made little bleeps, a signal that it had a wet diaper.

Plankton stripped the baby of it's diaper. Yellow ink had stained the cloth, bringing back memories of the oil stained towel he had disposed only one month ago. "Aw, shrimp, what a day that was!"

"Language!" Karen scolded him. "Don't speak like that in front of the baby!"

The baby whined as he wiped it and powdered it, gently placing a fresh diaper over it's lower half. It made little beeps of joy.

Plankton's eye glistened in the light. "I love you, Katherine," he said with a sparkling smile. He picked up the baby, who was big compared to his size, and cuddled it in his arms. "I didn't know that the love of a child could take my mind off of mindless, sinful schemes." He shed a tiny tear.

 _That night..._

Plankton, Karen, and Katherine huddled in the bedroom of the Chum Bucket. Kathy was on the bed and Plankton was comforting her. Karen was also on the bed, still recovering from her pregnancy.

Karen moaned softly. "This past year has been amazing..." She look into Plankton's eye.

Plankton looked back. "It has... Remember the day I built the chip and we did it?"

"Technically you didn't 'do it' with your own body. You only used a computer chip that you made with tools. You fertilized me with it. You yourself didn't fertilize me."

Plankton rolled his eyes. "I guess so... Hey, remember the day that Kathy touched my telescope and broke the lens?"

"Oh, yes, you were so angry!" she giggled.

"Don't forget when I delivered the baby. Neptune, you were pushing hard. And being so small, trying to deliver the baby was awkward. All I could see was your-"

"-Shut up," Karen said with embarrassment as she rolled her eyes.

"That was an amazing day!"

"It was."

"We did it."

"And now we have a baby..."

"Yep. Say, do you know where that chip is?"

"Yeah, on the nightstand," Karen told him. She glanced towards his direction.

Plankton reached over the bed and grabbed the heavy chip. "You know, Karen, this whole parenting thing has taken my mind off of schemes-"

"-Mine, too," she interrupted.

"Anyway," he held the chip in front of her, "wanna make more babies?"

 _You have one answer to your question on HealthyComputerBirth: "Can I make love right after I give birth?" Select to see answer._

Karen blushed, but selected it anyway.

 _"No, you shouldn't. You need time to nurse your baby. Don't get pregnant again when you have a baby to attend to." -Sincerely, HealthyComputerBirth._

"Maybe in a year or two?" suggested Plankton.

Karen smiled and nodded as she held up Katherine. "Maybe next time we can adopt a baby plankton that looks just like you, Sheldon."

Plankton hugged his family who were much bigger than he. "Maybe so. But for now, I have you guys... I love you Katherine... And I love you Karen."

 _Loading E.M.I.L.P..._

"Oh, shrimp!" Plankton cursed. "Not my mother-in-law!"

"Plankton!" the hoarse voice shrieked. "You got my daughter pregnant?!"

 _The End._


End file.
